The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay men desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not site link there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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