The Intimacy Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and you can try here norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of tourist Extra resources attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather Read Full Report than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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