The Intimacy Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the Learn More partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases article it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while see it here feeling all those exciting triggers!

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